Frequently Asked Questions About Entertaining

Q: My whole life I have enjoyed baking. I have always been one who bakes five pies at a time or six dozen butter tarts. The way I think about it, if you're going to make a mess of the kitchen, you may as well make it worth it. What is really frustrating me now is after baking, my hips, knees and feet are really bothering me.

A: Changing "old" ways is always difficult, a real challenge, especially if it isn't our choice and is imposed on us by our situation. All of us have "standards" or "rules" that drive our behaviours and the way we do things. Sometimes we aren't even conscious or aware of these rules. It sounds like for you to feel productive, you have to produce a lot, no matter what the cost is to you! It might be helpful to you in your efforts to change this standard or rule and contemplate baking in a different way to make a list of the pros and cons to changing the way you bake. Can you identify any advantages to baking less and for a shorter time? As we discuss in the Program, many of us can be precontemplative of changing a behaviour for many reasons, for instance, old ways are familiar and comfortable; fear, or we aren't convinced or aware of the advantages that this change could bring. It's possible that by listing and examining the benefits of making baking easier could bring you, will make the decision to try doing it differently more appealing to you. To get you started on your list, here are some examples of "pros" you might include: 1. won't be hurting and as exhausted as I've been after baking; 2. will be able to enjoy other activities on the day that I bake instead of being so exhausted that I don't want to do anything else. Give this a try and see if it's an easier change for you to make because you're more convinced of the worth/value of the change.

Some other helpful kitchen tips are:
- use a sharp knife to chop food. A Rocker knife or angled knife works well
- buy already prepared items such as cheese that is grated or vegetable that have already been cut up
- use electric appliances which make tasks such as opening jars easier
- use built-up handles for things such as spoons and knifes
- pace out meal prep by breaking up tasks throughout the day
- alternate sitting and standing
- delegate delegate delegate
- use lightweight utensils, bowls, pots, etc.
- use dycem on the bottom of your bowl for stabilizing
- use an adapted cutting board for stabilizing objects when cutting

Q: I want to throw dinner parties like I used to. Any tips? My husband and I used to entertain at least once a month. I love to cook, and would happily spend the day in the kitchen preparing a lavish dinner for 12. When I developed fibromyalgia, food preparation became physically challenging. Throwing large dinner parties is out of the question, and some days preparing a simple meal for my husband and myself seems overwhelming. I have stopped inviting people over for dinner, and I really miss that part of our lives.

A: When you have a chronic illness, it is important to stay involved in activities that give you pleasure, in order to maintain a good quality of life and a positive outlook. We've come up with a list of Tips for Stress-Free Entertaining that we hope will be helpful!

Q: How can I change the family routine without disappointing everyone? I have always had my children and grandchildren over for Sunday supper. I love having the family together, but by the time I finish cooking and cleaning I am in so much pain that I can't enjoy their company. How can I tell them that I can't do it anymore? They will be so disappointed in me.

A: Family time is important for your well-being. There is no need to give up your weekly family get-togethers. Your family simply needs to find a new Sunday routine that is less physically demanding for you, and allows you to enjoy each others' company. Very frequently, families continue doing things "the way we're used to", even when that routine is no longer working. We've come up with a list of Tips for Stress-Free Entertaining that we hope will be helpful!

Q: How can I keep up my disease management strategies (pacing, stretches, relaxation etc.) when I have guests for the weekend?

A: Having guests is one of the most frequent triggers for treatment relapse and pain flare-ups. People often place greater importance on "being a good host" than on taking care of themselves. Plus, we often feel embarrassed or awkward about taking time for ourselves, or worry about "putting others out". As a consequence, we end up pushing ourselves well beyond our tolerance levels by sitting for long periods of time or by being too active, and end up exacerbating the pain and not enjoying the visit at all. There are three simple keys to success in this situation:
1) give yourself permission to take care of yourself
2) schedule your disease management strategies in advance, and
3) inform your guests about what you need to do and why.
For example, if you typically take a walk each morning, let your guests know what time you go and invite them to join you if they would like. When you require a break to relax or stretch your muscles, let them know that you need some "down time". Most guests find it tiring to be away from home and their regular routine, and many enjoy the down time themselves.