1. Face the Facts!
Have you been feeling overwhelmed by the number of events and tasks coming up in the next month? Have you been coping with this anxiety by trying not to think about it? If you answered yes to both of those questions you are not alone. Many of us use avoidance and denial to manage stress. Unfortunately, in this situation, avoidance and denial will get you into trouble. Have you ever been in this situation? You agree to participate in an event, and then as the day gets approaches, you realize that you have made two or three commitments for that same day? Blame avoidance and denial for that chaotic situation. The best way to ensure a manageable holiday season is to face the facts:

• Make a list of all of your holiday commitments - parties to attend, family gatherings, your children's events, church services etc. Think about how much preparation is involved in each event & estimate how much time each event will require. Be generous, it is better to overestimate than underestimate the amount of time involved.
• List all of your holiday chores - shopping for gifts, decorating your home, a list of your baking etc. Estimate how much time each task will take.
• Prioritize. Take a critical look at both lists & choose your "Top 5" priorities from each list.
• Make a Holiday Schedule. Now is the time to get out your day planner or print off our weekly schedule to make a detailed holiday schedule. Your first priority is to take care of yourself - the disease management strategies will keep you in the best shape possible so that you can enjoy the holiday season. So, the first step is to pencil in your daily exercise and relaxation breaks. The second step is to pencil in the everyday tasks that will need to be done throughout the holiday period. Now, schedule in your top 5 holiday events, making sure to block off any preparation time you require. If the event is a long one, or if it will require considerable energy, make sure you schedule in a relaxation break immediately before and after the event. Now, schedule in the time you require to complete your top 5 holiday chores. Use the pacing tips below to make sure that you don't overexert yourself.
• Evaluate your schedule. How does it look? If your schedule is full, then those top 5 commitments and tasks may be all that you can handle without exacerbating your pain and fatigue. Take a look at the items remaining on your "to do" list & ask yourself if any of those activities are worth an increase in pain and fatigue. If the answer is "No", cross it off your list. Be ruthless.

2. Make it Simple
We have suggested that you cut out any activities that do not fit into your holiday schedule. There are other, less drastic ways to balance your schedule and maintain your symptoms. For example, if you simplify your holiday events or activities so that they take less time and energy, you will be able to fit more activities into your schedule without going beyond your tolerance levels and exacerbating your symptoms.

Baking

• keep fewer home-baked goods on hand during the holiday season.
• Buy a few basic desserts from a bakery, caterer or grocery store.
• Host a "cookie exchange party". You will only have to bake one large batch of your favourite cookie, but you end up with several varieties on hand for guests.
• Have a "Cookie Baking Day" for your friends, siblings, children or grandchildren. Split guests into small groups and put them in charge of mixing up and baking one type of holiday treat. If you have a large number of guests, and want to simplify things further, have a few groups make freezer cookie dough that you simply slice and bake on another day.

Gift Buying

• Scale down your gift giving
• Give gift certificates (books, music, restaurants, movie theatres, spa, hairdresser)
• Shop on the internet rather than running all over town to find what you want.
• If you are looking for a specific item, call stores in advance to save energy and time.
• Buy generic gifts that everyone enjoys (wine, chocolates, picture frames) rather than spending days looking for the perfect gift.

Entertaining (alternatives to the formal dinner party)

• Invite people to drop by for dessert one evening
• Host an afternoon eggnog and Xmas cookie party
• Host a cocktail party, serving only drinks and appetizers
• When people "drop by" serve prepared snacks rather (fancy nuts, chocolates, store-bought appetizers) than homemade goodies
• Host a "take a break from the holidays" party - order take-out, make a one-pot dinner, or have ingredients on hand to make your own sandwiches and sundaes.
• Arrange to meet friends at a local restaurant, movie theatre or coffee shop.

Family Traditions

• If you host a large family dinner for the holiday, make it pot luck this year.
• Have a family pre-holiday decorating party. Unpack all the decorations, provide treats or order in pizza and get the decorating all done at once.
• Ask someone else to host the family event this year.
• Host the family event, but ask family members to help with the cooking, shopping and / or clean-up.

3. Pace Yourself

• Stick to your tolerance levels- avoid overdoing/pushing yourself to finish a job despite your increasing pain and fatigue. Save your energy to enjoy your family and friends over the holiday season. As well - stick to your limits. If you know that you are too tired to attend a party remember that it is OK not to go or to leave early.
• Take breaks - breaking down larger tasks into smaller ones will allow you to participate in daily activities without overdoing it.
• Spread out your daily tasks across time so that you can maintain a consistent activity level. Spread out your Holiday baking, decrease the amount that you have always done, or purchase baked good instead of buying them. Remember even if you feel good - it is important to continue to pace yourself. This will help you to maintain a consistent activity level and avoid crashing over the holidays.
• Alternate your tasks (vary sitting and standing and active and sedentary tasks).
• Incorporate rest and breaks into your day to help you to maintain control over your symptoms. Remember that using your relaxation techniques are an effective way to achieve complete rest. You can also use these techniques during activities (e.g. do some deep breathing when waiting in store line ups over the holiday season).
• Make work easier anyway that you can (sitting requires 25% less energy than standing, eliminate unnecessary tasks, and don't over-schedule).
• Remember to always balance your self-care, productivity, and leisure - you want to enjoy your holiday so you need to take care of yourself and do the things that are most important to you.
• Stress is fatiguing and can cause flares so slow your pace down and allow yourself more time for activities.
• Using pacing principles over the holiday season will allow you to have control over your pain and fatigue and well as enjoy your time with family and friends.

4. Practice saying "NO"
Now that you have your holiday schedule in place, you need to make sure that you stick to it & that you protect that very important time for yourself. Quite often people get into trouble when they receive an unexpected invitation or request for help - they say yes and then regret that impulse. Why does this happen? You might not have had time to think rationally about the time commitment, you might have had a hard time saying no, you might have forgotten about another commitment, or you might have felt guilty about putting your own needs first. It is very smart to prepare yourself for these situations. Here are two "scripts" that you can use to buy yourself some time to think or to refuse requests graciously. Read them over. Memorize them. Write them on a cue card and carry it with you. Post them by the phone.

To buy yourself time…
"Your party sounds lovely & I would really enjoy getting together with your family. However, my holiday schedule is really crazy this year and I'm not sure if we are free that night. Could I get back to you once I've had a chance to look at our calendar?"

or

"I would like to be able to help out with the church supper this year, but my holiday schedule is really busy and I'm not sure if I have the time. Could I get back to you once I've had a chance to look at our calendar?"

To refuse an invitation…
"Your party sounds lovely & I would really enjoy getting together with your family. However, my holiday schedule is really busy this year and we are not free that night. Why don't we book a time to get together in January when things have calmed down? I will be much more relaxed then and will probably be able to enjoy our visit more!"

To refuse a request for help…
" I would like to be able to help out with the church supper this year, but I have committed myself to other things and my schedule is full that week. I'm so sorry."

5. Communicate!
Finally, it is important for you to talk to family and friends, to explain these holiday changes and to share the reason for making these changes. After all, if you have always done things in a certain way in the past, your family and friends may be surprised or confused by a change in routine. If you discuss these changes in a clear and assertive way, it will make it more likely that your family members will be supportive. Here are some tips:
1. Describe the change you are making.
2. Explain the reason you have decided to make this change.
3. Focus on the benefits of changing your routine, for you and others.
4. Explain how they can be helpful or supportive (be specific).

For example:
"My arthritis has made it very difficult for me to make the holiday dinner for the whole family - I end up feeling very tired and sore and I don't enjoy our celebration. Enjoying time with family is my top priority. I still want to have the whole family for dinner, but I thought it might be easier to manage if I asked for help. If I make the turkey and fixings, would you provide the dessert?"